Well I can honestly say that i never in a million years thought that i would ever be one some website where i would be posting entries about the most personal intimate details of my life.  but here i am, and thats wat i'm doing.  Things are looking up for once.  Wow i must say that sounds really emo, but honestly the last couple of months have been really really tough on me, and unfortunately by association.  tough on my girlfriend too.  I Love her more than anyone could ever understand.  She came into my life at one of the hardest times in my life, and i kinda sometimes wish she had never had to see this side of me.  I have anxiety/hypochondria, it flares up sometimes but usually it only last a short time, but thhis last spell i've been dealing with.  Its gone on a couple of months, granted i have had some symptons that have helped perpetuate those feelings.  I've felt helpless, and lost at times, but one thing no matter how many times i could tell her is how important its been to have such a girl standing by my side.  I only hope i could be half as good as she is to me when she needs me.  I only wish she knew how sorry i am for all those little hissy fits and little breakdown, fights, and every other thing i did to make things harder between us.  I am not one to want to think about my future, but theres one thing that i want certain, through all the thick and thin, i want my girl to be there with me for the rest of my life.

With all that said things are looking up, therapy seems to be helping, a new job, love my classes.  Again something my girl helped me to finally start going to.  

I do have one complaint with her right now, and that would be this cold she left me with.  I am stoked with the progress my book has made recently.  hopefully i can get that done pretty ssoon.  Things i'm looking forward to:  HALLOWEEN!!!, best holiday ever.  Costume will be the mask of red death by edgar allan poe.  Only the greatest horror writer ever.  And thanksgiving, it'll be the first year without my family, but it will be with my new family, which as much as its cheesy to admit.  I love them like a real family.  I realize that having people in your life like them makes it richer, and parents like mine just drag the life out of you.  I can't wait to see hunter.  Been far too long since i've been sexually harrashed by a feline attacker.  and i could really use a good dip in the hot top.  I've been looking for another job, sooo i'm looking forward to hopefully coming accross a job that works better for me right now.  I've also decided exaclty my plan for the rest of my life.  Sooo i'll write about that next time, cause i wanna wrap this up.

Current Location: room
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: thrice